My throat. Feels like there's some kind of liquid at the back of it, and it tastes absolutely digusting. I hope it isn't blood. Anyway, I don't feel well emotionally, either. I keep waiting for her to call me, but she never does. I hope she isn't losing intrest...But I don't think she is...Anyway. I'm making Russian Tea Cakes in a bit. Less salt this time, even though I did as the recipe said. They should be much better this time. Ugh, I feel so sick. Like I'm going to throw up. Not to mention, I'm extremely tired. And I'm being forced to go to church now. What's the point, if I'm destined for hell? I want to get texting back on my phone now. Haven't had it since December, because my mother believes everything Patti's parents said. Gee, thanks a bunch. I'm always alone now. Like today, my mother went to go buy my sister a bunch of clothes, just because. And even when she knows I'm in desperate need for them. But as you know, I'm not important to my family. They're trying to 'De-gay-ify' me. Can't have a homosexual messing up our family, oh no. As soon as I'm 18, I don't plan on ever seeing them again. Especially my Dad, I already wish he weren't my father. He says he'll always love me, but this is just something he doesn't care for. Who said I wanted to be his daugther? I will move far, far away. Maybe a different country. Always wanted to go to Australia. I want to live someone where there's warm weather all year long. Good for growing flowers. April is when Daisy season starts. I'm happy. And spring means new flowers in general. But I'm really looking foward to Summer. For various reasons: Patti, LIT, the weather, the pool. The only reason I don't like swimming is because when my chest is underwater, it instantly become hard to breathe. My heart immeadiately begans to pump blood faster. Not sure why, I'll have to look into it. Not to mention, I dislike swimming in pools. I'd rather it be in the ocean; That water's been everywhere. All of the world. So it makes me feel like I've been a few places. Like I amount to something. Yeah, I'm crazy, I know. I should go bring Daisy inside now. Lol, in math class we were making circle, and my teacher asks what something was, and Ethan says radius, and my teacher says "DID YOU JUST SAY ANUS?" LOL. I'm hungry/thirsty. This tea isn't doing it for me.